


we're not waxworks

by notthebigspoon



Series: Who Ya Gonna Call? [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-20
Updated: 2012-08-20
Packaged: 2017-11-12 12:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/490985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is this because of Zhul?”</p><p>“No. Not at all. YES! What the hell do you think it's about? My husband has had a smurf living in his basement for twenty years!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	we're not waxworks

“Danny. A little early for this, don't you think?”

“You do not talk to me. You are a traitor.”

“Steve said you were in a bad mood.”

“Steve is a traitor.”

“Is this because of Zhul?”

“No. Not at all. YES! What the hell do you think it's about? My husband has had a smurf living in his basement for twenty years!”

“You should have seen him when he first turned up. He was just a tiny thing, a little kid... well, a little whatever he is, I can't pronounce it. He really did look like a smurf then. Smurfette, with the long hair. I thought he was a girl.”

“How do you take this so calmly?”

“Got my panic attack over back then. He's a good kid. Started hiding when you came over and then when you moved in so he wouldn't ruin things for you and Steve. Does that sound like a monster to you?”

“... no.”

“So play nice? And don't call him a monster. That really upsets him. Actually, don't bust the smurf thing out either, only I get to call him that.”

“Why you?”

“I'm the one who found him.”

“So why does he live with McGarrett?”

“I found a little blue guy running around and I freaked out. Took him to John McGarrett. I knew he was... okay, I thought he was nuts at the time but I knew he knew about the occult. This wasn't the same thing but I didn't know what else to do.”

“And he took him in. Just like that.”

“Just like that. Zhul moved into the basement and never left. He used Steve's school books at first, to educate himself. He got his high school diploma and a college degree under a fake name. He's really smart. If you actually sat down and talked to him, you'd probably like him. He's like Steve without all the social awkwardness.”

“Does he ever leave the house?”

“Not really. He runs a web design business from the house... everything he needs he buys online. Usually leaves the house when he wants to see a movie or he's got the munchies.”

“How-”

“Makeup. Wears long sleeves and gloves, hats except Halloween.”

“Do you know how long Gracie's known about him?”

“Since about three months after you got married. She hardly ever sees him. I think he's afraid of her, afraid of upsetting her with his looks.”

“He's not that bad. Not once you get past the blueness and the eyes. Looks like a regular person, just painted up.”

“He _is_ a person Danny.”

“Now I feel like a dick.”

“You acted like one. You ready to go home? I'm driving.”

“Yeah. You should join us for dinner.”

“I was going to anyway. Zhul's gonna make pizza. Jersey style, for you. He spent a lot of time on google trying to figure out how it goes. Be nice.”


End file.
